15 July
1999
Jim's moving back to the States, seemingly to the East Coast, in less than three weeks. I've been feeding Kendra housing hints for her September/October internship stint in Boston. Deb's been articulating all these electronic thoughts to me about making things happen in cities bigger and better and generally more exciting than Boston. And it's got me thinking about location. Again. It's been so long since I began dreading my "time" in Boston that it takes fierce concentration to conjure up the reasons I moved here in the first place. But you know, it wasn't really a reason... as much as a feeling. It was the crisp November air sauntering along the brick sidewalk on Hanover Street. It was warm chowder on that brightly sunny but frightfully cold Saturday afternoon on the dock behind the Aquarium. It was the thick, smoky haze settling between our pints of Guinness at Flann O'Briens. All are charmed moments too easily swallowed by years of a predictable existence. Today Todd reminded me of what I told him when he asked me why I chose to move to Boston. I thought the people here were going to be more open, creative, liberal, and accepting of change. It's the same punchline as our friend, Peter, who moved to Seattle a few years back "to escape humidity." As Patrick pointed out, one geographical transplant to another, Boston is filled with people who got off the Mayflower over 400 years ago and still haven't left. Boston is overrun with sleepwalkers (to borrow Bruce's perfect term) scarcely opting for change or a new idea. Their lack of creativity forces dark, dull shades of gray to seep into my imagination and dreams. And I'm looking to escape before it gets too cloudy to find my way out. The West is calling, like a siren luring a lost ship, promising me oodles of space, fresh narrative, and pleasant lack of history. I feel like getting myself uprooted and confused and lost, because it will be different. And tough. And new. Maybe it's impossible to live day in and day out anywhere and preserve the magic of what attracted you to it in the first place. But right now I'm just not willing to take that for granted. Right now is about trying to make those feelings of geographical lust remain even after routine sinks its teeth into my life. I'm longing for unspoiled ground and uncharted territory like blank piece of canvas on which to test this theory. But most of all, simply a place to call home. Where do you long to be? biggest kiss... ...kristen |
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