19 July
1999
So Laine recently fell for a guy because he mentioned over lunch that sometimes he just wanted to talk with someone about "German philosophers". When she told me this, she was sitting right where I am now, typing away at her mentoring paper, trying to squeeze it in before the deadline... perhaps even earlier so that we could stop for tea on our way up to Maine. I was wandering around this studio, basking in the luxury of a free morning with no expectations, and her comment nearly made me jump. There was one thought going through my mind: "Exactly." Not that I could even name one German philosopher. In fact, I tried right then but could only come up with Martin Heidegger as a best guess (later confirmed by my resident-expert philosopher, Karl, as being correct... two points.) But it was this idea of falling, if ever so slightly, because of a random glimpse of someone's intellect that I understood so well. It wasn't as if these words tumbling out of his mouth casually over lunch gave Laine any uncontrollable urges that could result in them being asked never to return to the dining establishment. But it simply generated enough heat to connect a current of possibilities she hadn't realized existed before. It happens to me too often to count. I don't fall for a square jaws or sulky eyes, though I have been known to comment on them from time to time. Instead, I fall for a conversation that sends me running to a dictionary or a library, with a fire that can only be extinguished by learning what I didn't even know existed before. I often fall when scouring disheveled personal libraries or meticulous CD collections. It's someone who quotes my favorite lines from Woody Allen films or expresses a distaste for contentment that sends my stomach to the trapeze and casts my perspective in a different texture. Someone who thinks and lives with passion. And not too long ago, it was someone talking about Virginie Ledoyen and French cinema on the radio. Brain crushes may not sustain, but they do start something full of innocent and giddy promise. They nudge you awake painlessly, pass time in gazing speculation, and teach you things you never dreamed you'd want to learn. Fruition, in most cases, is overrated... but the ride is a breathtaking adventure. Who is your crush? biggest kiss... ...kristen |
||||