14 October 1999
[deletia]

I learned from Daniel Underwood, the narrator of Douglas Coupland's Microserfs, that by typing [deletia] you are representing all that is lost.

Somewhere in the midst of a second mile on the treadmill Tuesday, I began to realize all that has been lost in these past four years: challenge and creativity and brain-power-push shriveling up from lack of use. It's just been too much of a sacrifice.

Two weeks ago Bruce asked how Seattle plans were coming along. I answered that they were in a suspended state. To his silence, I replied that I just haven't been terribly unhappy lately. He reminded me that this complacency is no better than the unhappiness and frustration I've felt in the past.

These years were so full of hope. Then squandered. Unanswered. Vanished.

Todd said that creating the whirly dress above is the most challenged he's felt in weeks. Today was filled with straws and broken backs. We're too talented and hungry to waste away. All of the sudden clean slates don't require new cities and we're looking in our own backyards to find a way out.

What kind of change is upon you?

biggest kiss...

...kristen