ode to teamwork
cameo appearance by Todd Sonneborn
20 March 2000

Behind the scenes, I labor away,
while she gets to drive, to dance and to play.

As she crosses a border or sees a new sight,
Ms. Whirlygirl calls ME to update her site.

She writes up the details of daily minutia,
and I'm left spell-checking words like "fuchsia".

So here's my rebellion, published sans her permission,
a cameo from me... sit back, laugh and listen.

Here are the top ten arguements you (as a whirlygirl reader) avoided by not joining Kristen on her trans-American journey:

10. Kristen: Did you see that? Wow, that makes 1 rabbit, 1 armadillo, 1 deer and 1 coyote/wolf thing!

You: No Kristen... you need to clean the sand from your glasses again... that makes 3 tumbleweeds and 1 stuffed Taco Bell chihuahua.
9. Kristen: That makes 14 states!

You: Kristen, when the bartender at a wedding says he won't serve you because of your drunken STATE, you don't get to add that STATE to your list, below Arizona and California.
8. Kristen: This looks like a nice place to stop the car and catch some Z's.

You: Kristen, that sign says we've passed illegally into a restricted missle testing zone... how 'bout a nearby motel instead... besides, neither of us have stood up in over a week now.
7. Kristen: Forget her... what does she know anyway?

You: Why is it again, that we've stopped to ask every person we've seen between Texas and Arizona to guess whether or not you graduated from Harvard Medical School?
6. Kristen: Look over there! It's Vince Vaughn with a martini in his hand over by those slot mahines!

You: Here's another tissue for your glasses, Kristen... that's a coat rack.
5. Kristen: We'll stop in San Antonio and check into a motel from 3 to 3:30, and then hit the road again okay?

You: What?!? Oh C'mon! Not ANOTHER Little House on the Prarie break! That makes 3 times just today!
4. Kristen: Can we just drive off with this puppy?

You: You're running out of excuses to tell the Highway Patrol... You already got busted for theft once this trip when you grabbed that mailbox and drove off with it sticking up out of the convertable.

Kristen: Hey! I thought it was a cute hitchiker alright!
3. Kristen: Time for lunch!

You: Ughh... it's 3:45 in the morning... please just let me sleep!
2. You: The snow is getting really deep in here.

Kristen: We are leaving the top down and that's that!
1. You: Why are you jumping back and forth across that line?

Kristen: Hello? Why else? To add more time zone changes to my list, dummy!