We kept saying how the blue skies and warm weather seemed incongruous in light of the tragedy and its aftermath these past few days. So, the rain and the wind and the cold weather should be more fitting-- echoing our sadness, our fears. But, instead I find myself longing for the sun to shine through my windows and comfort me. The rain only deepens my desire to stay locked inside my apartment where it is dry and warm and most importantly, safe.

I know that my wanting to stay at home can't last forever. I feel slightly cowardly by not going into the office and instead working from home. So many people are being so brave all over the city, all over the country. And yet, it exhausts me to even think of getting dressed and going out. I fear having to stand on the street in the pouring rain after another mindless bomb threat. And it seems so petty. So, I think that I should stay here. Safe. As safe as I can be. And I will try be brave tomorrow.

Yet suddenly, while watching the broadcast of the service of the National Cathedral and the clips of simultaneous services in so many cities, I realize that I want to be out. Out in the world, living my life. I am not one for prayer. During this hour when so many gather across the country, I know my way to remember is to go to work, go about my business just like everyone did on a beautiful Tuesday morning that seems like a lifetime ago.

And I hurriedly get dressed. And before I know it, I am taking the steps down into the subway. And I am walking into my office. And I sit at a table with people over lunch and I find myself even laughing a bit. And sitting at my desk, I look out at the gray skies and it seems fitting and right and entirely appropriate on this day of remembrance.

Hope you are remembering and finding some peace in your day.