Kristen is on vacation from "whirling" today and
I, Todd Sonneborn, am filling in... call me the interim-webmaster.

As a whirlyreader myself, I figure it's probably in your best interest to see a little whirlyspoof as a change of pace. I think it is of utmost importance that you, the reader, understand that you are not alone when you feel confused or depressed after reading whirlygirl. But if you, like me, modify HOW you read the site, I guarantee your experience will be a better one. Here's how I read (and how you should learn to read) whirlygirl:

Skip over the parts that are vague or overly poetic. For example, she's likely to write something like this:

"His letters would forever linger in her mind..."

Skip it. Who is "he"? Or "her" for that matter? Is Kristen referring to the past or the future? Don't get bogged down with figuring out stuff like this. If Kristen wants to tell you something, she'll have to spell it out more clearly.

Skip over the depressing parts. For example, you'll see:

"I sat sobbing in the darkness, reliving the moment over and over, wishing things could be different."

No way. As soon as you see words like sobbing or darkness, press fast forward. Who sits around in the dark? And who wants to read about someone sitting in the dark. Just skip the whole day when she starts with this stuff.

Skip anything about music. For example, you might see:

"Review of Thursday's J.T. Funkleberry show at The Swamp - Downstairs"

Trust me, if Kristen liked them, you've never heard of them and you never will again. Besides, what kind of interesting stuff could possibly happen BELOW a place called The Swamp? Skip it.

Following these simple rules will not only make your read less depressing and confusing, but it's guaranteed to shave valuable minutes off of the obligatory reading time!