"I read about this study," Wendy said. "The researchers learned that no matter how hard you tried, the most you could possibly change your personality-- your self-- was five percent."

Wendy's fact made me queasy. The news reminded me of how unhappy I was with who I was at that point. I wanted nothing more than to transform 100 percent.

Douglas Coupland...
Girlfriend in a Coma

Lately, I've been thinking about change. I've been thinking about the cores inside of us-- the cores that make us exactly who we are and who we've always been. I've been thinking about how our core personalities manifest inside of our current conditions-- and though who we are, where we are, and what we want seems to change, we actually remain the same. We battle the same weaknesses. We wake up in the middle of the night to face those same self-identified shortcomings in our reflections in the bathroom mirror. We make the same mistakes over and over and over again. We live inside of these conditioned responses to every single situation.

It may seem like the biggest thing, the most enormous change that we have to make. Nothing that could possible fall within that five percent. Perhaps we shut down to new ideas, perpetually floating inside of some past notion or feeling or goal that is too distant to pinpoint. Or perhaps we feel crushed by living inside of a life that is not the one we once imagined for ourselves. Or perhaps we're just sort of lost, wandering aimlessly without direction. We think we are swimming inside of all of these things that make us unhappy: work, relationships, self-image, physical appearance, mental clarity.

And then I think about the alcoholic who stops drinking. I think about these few isolated actions: picking up a glass, pouring the alcohol, raising it to his/her lips, drinking it down. I think about how just not doing those four things can change his/her life entirely. Change work. Change relationships. Change self-image. Change physical appearance. Change mental clarity. Poof. Simple.

But of course it's not simple. I'm not here to pretend that it is. For some people, not doing those four actions can be the equivalent to climbing Everest. But when I think about it in terms of what percentage of your life you are actually changing verses what percentage of your life you are actually impacting, I think I'm onto something.

What's the best five percent? Where can we concentrate our efforts? Where are we going to get the most bang for our buck? What is the root of these overwhelming problems? Perhaps we can try to be a more active listener to the people in our lives-- and I mean really concentrating, really opening up, and really being willing to hear them. Perhaps we can attempt to make our perpetually half-empty glass half-full instead-- turn the small disappointments into small celebrations of a bright side. Perhaps we accept an invitation. Perhaps we make a telephone call. Perhaps we try just one little thing we've always wanted to try.

This isn't original. I'm not charting new ground. I'm just thinking and reminding myself of what is possible. I'm trying to put into my very own context a tiny idea for the person out there who wants to make a change, and simply doesn't know where to start. Or a bit of inspiration for that person who has decided where to start, but is maybe not convinced it's going to get them anywhere. Or just a simple reminder for me, and for you, that little things make a big difference.

And that simply deciding to be "great", is really quite fantastic.